You Wish You Were Jack Kerouac

You Won’t Know …Why the hell Jesse Lacey threw his guitar

Apparently Jesse Lacey urged the audience to go see Explosions In The Sky instead of Brand New at a recent festival concert.  When no one left he called those in attendance “a bunch of fools.”  The next song he threw his guitar into the air, nearly hitting Brand New’s drummer before storming off stage.

Jesse Lacey is either insane or super hip… you decide.

What if Tucker Max Lied?

I’m going to retract the invective I wrote about Gawker a few days back, but just for this post. Gawker’s Rumormonger has a lengthy thread on Tucker Max that holds a true literary gem:

The more I thought about it, however, the more the fact that TM is basically lying in his stories began to bother me. His whole hook is that these stories are “true.” Anyone could just make this shit up and pass it off as fiction, it would get e-mailed around a few times and be forgotten. But Tucker presents it as true, that it actually happened to him, and it didn’t, he’s lying and that’s unacceptable. What gets Tucker his attention is people going “Man, I can’t believe that this actually happened to someone, that shit is so crazy!! I wish I were him.” In short, he was interesting because he represented something that many people wish they were but don’t really have the balls to be. Unfortunately, he wasn’t really that person, Tucker is more a persona than anything else.

The people I know who worship TM, do so because he’s “living proof” that a man need not be perfect to score. I’m not a frequent Tucker Max reader (to date, I’ve read but half of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell) but I’ve always defended my fascination by arguing that reading his misogynistic stories allowed me to make important sociological-cum-psychological observations about male behavior. But what if his various books, blogs, stories–his entire mythology–were nothing more than a great big fiction?

More importantly, I wonder how many men have dicked their way to success using TM as a placebo?

Check out my Freedom Stick

From Gizmodo, comes news of this incredibly handy device, good now for the Olympics, good later for when an FCC-DHS hybrid takes over the tubez:

If you’re reading this, odds are against your attendance at the Beijing Olympic Games, but we wanted to make sure that you knew about the Freedom Stick just in case—a USB dongle preloaded with all of the traffic routing software you’ll need to browse the internet unencumbered (specifically, The Onion Router). It’s available now until the end of the Olympics for $30, and please don’t send us tips about the freaky shit you’re using it for

More on Toby Keith’s Supposed Racism

Willie, let me down!

There’s been a lot of hubbub over Toby Keith’s country dumbness, but I thought I’d do my part to help set the record straight on Beer for my Horses:

Blumenthal never mentions that Keith sings “Beer For My Horses” with Willie Nelson, and it’s actually Nelson who sings the supposedly incriminating lyrics (as you can see at about the 1:43 mark of the music video).

Now Willie Nelson’s been called a lot of things—a pot head, a tax cheat, etc—but I don’t think anyone’s ever called Willie Nelson (who just recorded an album with Wynton Marsalis) a racist. So if Blumenthal wants to argue that Keith is pro-lynching, he needs to argue that Nelson is, too—which is something he doesn’t do.

Hat tip to Jesse Walker (one of my bosses at Reason).

Let Me off the Klein Bandwagon

Ryan’s post below illustrates, more perfectly than all the prose and rhetoric this world has to offer, just how successful Naomi Klein has been at selling some of the poorest political and economic research academia has to offer.

more about “Johan Norberg discusses Klein’s take …“, posted with vodpod

Kwame the Krook

I am convinced that every big city in America is rotten to the core. And of course, Detroit’s the worst of them all:

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick will spend the night in jail after a judge ruled he violated the terms of his bond in his perjury case by making a business trip to Canada and not informing the court.

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick apologized, but a federal judge ordered him jailed for violating terms of his bond.

Judge Ronald Giles ordered Kilpatrick to jail Thursday, a decision the judge said he would have made for any “John Six-Pack” defendant before him.

The mayor made an unauthorized trip to Canada last month, leading the county prosecutor’s office to request Kilpatrick be punished and triggering the judge’s ruling.

Only minutes earlier, the mayor offered an apology to the court, telling Giles that for seven months, “I’ve been living in an incredible state of pressure and scrutiny.”

But Giles sent the mayor to jail anyway, telling him he would have given any defendant the same treatment.

“What matters to me though is how the court overall is perceived and how if it was not Kwame Kilpatrick sitting in that seat, if it was John Six-Pack sitting in that seat, what would I do? And that answer is simple,” he said.

The Detroit News has a great Kwame archive here.

‘One man’s TMI is another man’s JEI–just enough information’

New Tim and Eric is out. Oh my sweet god is it strange.

To All the Dicks Who Called Me ‘Tugboat’

There is a blog out there for people who are (or at least want to be) okay with being fat:

Weight itself is not a health problem, except in the most extreme cases (i.e., being underweight or so fat you’re immobilized). In fact, fat people live longer than thin people and are more likely to survive cardiac events, and some studies have shown that fat can protect against “infections, cancer, lung disease, heart disease, osteoporosis, anemia, high blood pressure, rheumatoid arthritis and type 2 diabetes.” Yeah, you read that right: even the goddamned diabetes. Now, I’m not saying we should all go out and get fat for our health (which we wouldn’t be able to do anyway, because no one knows how to make a naturally thin person fat any more than they know how to make a naturally fat person thin; see point 4), but I’m definitely saying obesity research is turning up surprising information all the time — much of which goes ignored by the media — and people who give a damn about critical thinking would be foolish to accept the party line on fat. Just because you’ve heard over and over and over that fat! kills! doesn’t mean it’s true. It just means that people in this culture really love saying it.

Like Gawker Has Room to Talk

Happy birthday...from the grave

VH1′s blog Scandalist posted a tacky/darkly funny photoshopped pic of Jon Benet Ramsey wearing a birthday hat, to commemorate what would today be her 18th b-day. (She would also be, as one of my meatspace colleagues pointed out to me, a hottie.)

Gawker, among other places, threw a goddamn hissy fit. Which is ironic, considering Gawker is a nexus for shit-talk, rumors, and week-ruining pseudo-journalism. From Wikipedia:

On March 14, 2006, Gawker.com launched Gawker Stalker Maps, a mashup of the site’s Gawker Stalker feature and Google Maps.^[5] Gawker Stalker, originally a weekly roundup of celebrity sightings in New York City submitted by Gawker readers, first posted on April 21, 2003, is now frequently updated, and the sightings are displayed on a map.

The feature has drawn criticism from celebrities and publicists for encouraging stalking, and George Clooney rep Stan Rosenfeld called Gawker Stalker “a dangerous thing.” Jessica Coen has said that the map is harmless, that Gawker readers are “for the most part, a very educated, well-meaning bunch,” and that “if there is someone really intending to do a celebrity harm, there are much better ways to go about doing that than looking at the Gawker Stalker.”^[3][6]

Read Emily Gould’s “Exposed” for more insight on just how shitty a place Gawker is. And thank you, Scandalist, for giving me something to laugh at and feel bad about at the same time.

The Time for Liberty

Bob Barr campaign v The World for the mantle of most emotive political ad:

White People Who Hate “Stuff White People Like”

The New Republic’s Adam Sternbergh, for starters:

When black people dance, they dance like this. But when white people dance, they dance like this.

You have now essentially experienced every episode of “The Arsenio Hall Show.” You have also now essentially read the entirety of Stuff White People Like, a comedic blog which may have recently popped up in your inbox, forwarded to you by an enthusiastic friend (him or herself no doubt, like the blog’s author, white).

For those few who haven’t yet seen it, read about it in the Los Angeles Times, or heard about it on NPR, the blog was created by a 29-year-old aspiring comedy writer in L.A. and it is, by its own description, “devoted to stuff white people like,” presented as numbered, encyclopedia-style entries, e.g. #1 Coffee; #5 Farmer’s Markets; #69 Mos Def; or #79 Modern Furniture.

A few observers have already pointed out, rightly, that Stuff White People Like isn’t about white people in general, but rather about a very specific demographic sliver of left-leaning, city-dwelling white folk–in other words, people like me. These people have previously been trapped and tagged alternately as yuppies, or Bobos, or (by yours truly in New York magazine) grups. Basically, they embody the uneasy marriage of urban affluence and liberal (and/or progressive, and/or alternative, and/or “indie”) ideals. For example, there are plenty of white people in America who fairly obviously don’t like (#15) yoga or (#46) The Sunday New York Times or (#28) not having a TV. But it’s much funnier and, at least on its face, more original to say “White People” rather than “Yuppies.” I mean, if someone sent you a link to a blog called “Stuff Bobos Like,” would you even open it, let alone forward it to all your Bobo friends?

Louisiana, up Close and Personal

Google’s Lat Long Blog announced today that it has expanded the number of places you can see using Street View to include New Orleans. This is very good news, as I have noticed a recent decline in depressing NOLA images.

No New Orleans post would be complete without a Kanye refer:

“Just smoke two of these and call me in the morning”

After a chance encounter with an affluent man from Spanish Harlem, my personal perspective on the drug community is forever changed.  Growing up in suburbia I am exposed to pharmacies and drug stores like Walgreens or CVS that sell cold remedies and doctor prescribed medications.  This is my norm. 

 

However for this man, in his neighborhood, illicit narcotics are much more prevalent that their Medicare-covered counter parts and pharmacies exist in the hands of the individual entrepreneurs who seek to start a business.  In this instance, customers seek solace in Marijuana, Heroine, and Crack rather than Prozac, Valium, and Ritalin.  In either case, there are users who legitimately seek out the medication for personal pain relief as well as those who abuse the drugs for personal recreation.  Addicts get their fix from either pharmacy. 

 

I know what I’m saying here is nothing new, that there are white-collar and blue-collar addicts everywhere.   But this weekend was the first opportunity I’ve ever had to see first hand the legitimate positive effects of the legalization of narcotics.  My friend runs is very wealthy circles, has an extensive list of clientele, and manages multiple employees.  He is essentially the same kind of drug mogul as a Pfizer CEO just without the benefits legitimacy has to offer.

 

While the debate over the legalization of marijuana continues and the line in the sand is getting clearer by the day, I’d like to imagine a world where men like these are free to organize and expand.  Imagine a world where the major drug companies suddenly have to compete with businessmen from some of the poorest neighborhoods in the world.  Where CVS begins stocking its cocaine and heroine next to the cough syrup and diapers.         

Say Anything “Karaoke Night”

Say Anything Karaoke
Posted on 08/04/08 by Joe DeAndrea

At the Chicago stop of Warped Tour, Max Bemis of Say Anything was sick and unable to sing so instead of canceling, they had some of their friends help out on vocals. Set list was as follows:

Setlist:

Alive With the Glory Of Love (Justin from Motion City Soundtrack)
Every Man Has a Molly (Cory from Norma Jean)
The Futile (Matt from Relient K)
Woe (Keith from Every Time I Die)
Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too (Stephen from Anberlin, James from The Bled)
Belt (Fred from The Color Fred and everyone else that had come out during the set)
Videos: http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=454991